Thursday, May 8, 2008

Giving up my identity... I mean name.

Okay, so I was at the pharmacy picking up a prescription that is listed under my maiden name and started to say, as I have for many years, that "I can guarantee I'm the only S*****a in your system..."... but then had to stop myself, because my new name, my married name, is not as unique as my maiden name. I mean I can't even get a normal gmail account with my new last name. The combinations that it comes with are egregious.
There's 258 people with my married name (first + newlast) on facebook. Two hundred fifty-eight. Yeah. Two hundred fifty-eight Michelle B******'s in the country registered on facebook. Ick. There's like 168 or something on myspace. There's a marketing specialist, an online how-to/what to do & not to do writer (what shoes to wear for a job interview, what exactly is a duvet?, on hubs, e-zing, helium, about, etc), an anesthesiologist (who is published but not the same one as the writer), a business consultant (like I know what that is??), a widow of a soldier killed in Iraq (they eloped- they were smart), a techie blogger, a elementary teacher, a red cross volunteer, a college professor, a student loan financer (loan offier- collegiate funding services), and this list goes on. There's even one that has her resume posted on a .net version of our name. Well, now what am I supposed to do when I graduate school??? She totally stole my domain!

There are only eight other people with my maiden last name- none with my whole name- I was the only Michelle S*****a in the country.

Before the wedding, I was really adament about not changing my name... I felt like I was giving up my identity. I knew I was unique- my name said it all.
Then there was St Patrick's day (before) dinner & I had gotten into a discussion about not changing my name with the elders of my family (my mother's siblings) and they stated that I was being disrespectful to my husband by not changing my name, that I was keeping one foot out the door at all times. Which I didn't think at all... I just thought I was keeping my identity.
Then two days before the wedding, people kept asking what my new name would be and I would reply, oh its still going to be Michelle S*****a... oh the LOOKS I GOT!
Then came the wedding, where we were announced (all traditional and all) Mr & Mrs B*****... three times. And I'm just like okay so this is it.
And then we get back to our room, and now hubby is all buzzed from the party, so I ask him, "do you want me to change my name, or does it really, really not matter to you?"
He replies- "well if I had my way- but no pressure- I would have you change it..." Then he continues... "I know it is a pain in the butt, your license, social security card, passport, credit cards, bank accounts, life insurance policies, medical insurance policy, car insurance policy, doctors offices... there's a lot to do, but yes, I would want you to change it, if you want to."
So I agreed.
No hyphen. No middle (old last) then new last...
But I still feel like I'm giving something up.

1 comment:

  1. I SOOOOO feel you.

    While I don't particularly like my last name, I also felt like it was an identity issue and I didn't like the idea of feeling like I "was bought" by his family. I know it's weird, but I'm an individual and grew up with my last name.

    So, I kept mine. But in social situations I will use his to make things easier.


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