Monday, September 28, 2009

HUGE life decision

So, I have made a HUGE decision.

I have decided to have weight loss surgery. When I started to write this post, I was still undecided as to which procedure I was going to have, still on the fence, so to speak.

I had been following a diet and been on medication from my physician, and only lost about 8 lbs over 6 months. Which at my size, the weight should have come off a little easier. Yes, there were extraneous factors, such as my practical exit exam and my stressful internship, but with the assistance of medication, I should have lost more weight.

After the drama of failing my first internship, I had about 6 weeks of soul searching to do. I was supposed to be graduating in August. Then my husband and I were going to start a family... all those plans were changed in the instant I found out I was pulled from my internship site. I can rant, rave, scream, and shout about it, but nothing will change the lessons I learned over those 11 weeks and nothing will change the outcome. That was something that was hard to digest.

I kept saying that something had to give, and God would reveal his plan for me. And then I had my monthly weight in/check up with my physician and he said that I was a walking heart attack- that with my weight as high as it is, and with my stress level, I would be having a heart attack by age 30. I'm 27 right now.

Everything flashed through my head, how long I had worked to be an OT, the family I wish to have, my sweet pets, my siblings and their kids, my mother, and my dear husband. I am so sick of being tired all the time, sluggish with all this extra weight. And I'm tired of being worried about my health. I always get sick, which is likely due to me being so overweight and my immune system being so out of wack.

That was the decision maker for me. That wake up call that was so loud it was like a Gong next to my head, and a pitcher of ice water at 5am.

He highly recommended I make the step to call the local bariatric surgeon and go to the open informational session on Thursday pm. The appeals process with school was taking forever, then there was a remediation process (IMO- a personality intervention) that lasted weeks. I knew I wouldn't get another site back to back, and knew I would end up with a long break.

I figured that was the new plan God had for me. The timing couldn't have been any more perfect. My life was in limbo and I needed a new plan.

I started the process for weight loss surgery (WLS).

So that's it... I'm having gastric bypass surgery.

I've waited this week to post the posts that will follow this, as many people have tried to get me to change my mind.


Thanks a bunch for your comment love!