Thursday, February 6, 2014

Surrogate Parenting: Would you consider giving the gift of a child to another family?

Never in history has it been more possible for couples or individuals to build families, even when nature is not doing the work like it should. Just about any conception issue can be overcome with surrogacy. If a woman is having fertility problems, but can still produce eggs, she is a candidate. Even if she cannot, her partner can contribute genetic material. This goes both ways, making surrogacy an option for many families that would otherwise be forced to go the adoption route or even forego having children. For many, surrogate parenting like the services offered by the Center for Surrogate Parenting is a blessing.

What is Surrogate Parenting?

Surrogate parenting takes many forms, though it always involves a surrogate mother carrying and birthing a child for another mother and father, mother and mother, father, mother or father and father. No matter the family dynamic or the reason for surrogacy, the surrogate parent has one role -- to carry and give birth to a child in as safe and healthy a way as possible. She may be implanted with an embryo from both parents, one parent and a donor or even from two donors.

How Does Surrogate Parenting Work?


With surrogate parenting, the parents have to do some planning. There is the creation of an embryo as well as choosing a mother in which to implant the embryo(s). This process will vary greatly depending on the participation of the parents. If the mother is using her eggs, she must have them extracted. If not, a donor will be chosen. The father will have to donate sperm. There is also the option to use donor sperm. From there, the material will be introduced to each other and hopefully form viable embryos. The surrogate parent is typical chosen from among loved ones or from a group of candidates selected by a professional agency. The parents will get to spend time with this individual and be a part of the pregnancy.

It is important to know that before a family even begins choosing a surrogate mother, the candidates have typically been preparing for several months or even years. A good surrogacy agency will have done medical and mental health tests to ensure the safety of a child throughout the pregnancy, to understand the surrogate's motivation and just to get to know her and impart that information on hopeful parents.

What are the Benefits of Surrogate Parenting?


Surrogate parenting is beneficial for any number of reasons, all of which depend on the situation. Gay couples can have children that are at least half theirs genetically and even choose an egg or sperm donor, if they wish. Couples who have been unsuccessful in attempts to conceive naturally can have biological children. Women who cannot carry safely can have another woman do it for them. While pregnancy is wonderful for many women, mothers who opt for surrogacy can continue working and preparing for the coming child without being impeded by the obstacles pregnancy sometimes brings. Of course, the best benefit of all is the child.


My sister and I have always discussed surrogate parenting. The beauty of being able to give a family a life they so desperately want to welcome into their home is a blessing like no other. Not only that, oftentimes this still provides the family with the ability to provide the genetic materials to their child. I have a friend that had cancer and they froze as many eggs as possible- they now have a beautiful set of twins. Without surrogacy, this family would have not been made or completed. I have another friend with a severe case of PCOS, which prevents her from maintaining pregnancy, that I've offered to carry her child if/when the time is right for them.

What about you? Have you ever considered surrogacy or been a surrogate for someone you know? Leave me a comment and let me know!!!






Disclosure: Financial compensation was received for this post. The sponsor and any compensation received for this post in no way affected my opinion or any statements presented in this post. Ramblings of Mama blog always provides honest opinions, beliefs or experiences on products and services reviewed. If you have any questions or would like your product, service or company featured on Ramblings of Mama, please contact me at RamblingsofMama {at} gmail [dot] com. This disclosure is done in accordance with the Federal Trade Commission 10 CFR, Part 255 Guides Concerning the use of Endorsements and Testimonials in Advertising. 

68 comments:

  1. It takes a special kind of person to do this. I don't think I could go through a pregnancy and labor just to walk away. Like I said, it's wonderful for the families. I think that there are so many children waiting to be adopted that I have mixed feelings on this issue.

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  2. i have always wanted to be a surrogate for a family. with my ex husband, he wanted one more baby and that was IT. i was NOT ready to be done with pregnancy and i know a few couples who can't have babies. so, that was my option. best of both worlds. but, i went through a divorce. and my now husband, he wants to have 100 kids. lol. so, i guess carrying another couples baby isn't in our plans. for now, at least. but i think its a great idea!

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  3. I had a hard time getting pregnant. Thankfully we were able to, but the thought crossed my mind that we might need to look for a surrogate. It takes a very special kind of person to do such a wonderful and difficult thing.

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    1. I miscarried my first pregnancy. It just wasn't time for us and, in all honesty, I wasn't healthy enough at the time to carry.
      I understand entirely that fear of not being able to get pregnant and thinking of all the other possibilities we have to consider. Thank God there is the technology now that this is an option for those that cannot carry babies.

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  4. I've considered being a surrogate before, but I am not sure if I could carry a baby and then let it go.

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  5. This is an awesome thing to do for families how to go about doing it.I am all for it. I hope that famlies out there who deserve this will get there wishes. I have thought about doing this as well to help families but don't know

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  6. This is an awesome thing to do for families I hope that families out there who deserve this will get there wishes. I have thought about doing this as well to help families but don't know how to go about doing it. I would really really like to know more about it.

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    1. If you click through the link to the company above, they have information on how to become a surrogate!

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  7. I think this is one of the most if not the most blessed gift you could give anyone and.I was adopted and I never fully understood it when I was told but I remember thinking but there are all those people out their that want kids why didn't my biological parents want me. I may never know the answer to that but everyday I am amazed at the people that say they don't want to be parents they want to live life to it's fullest. I don't believe I could ever be satisfied without children. It takes a very special Christian person to give someone this type of blessing. God Bless to all of them

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  8. This is such a beautiful concept,I don't think I could personally do it but I think its awesome that others can!

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  9. I have always felt that surrogates are really brave!. I can definitely not do that. In my country, India, surrogates are not encouraged. Say even if I want a baby, my family would never allow me to contact a surrogate. India is pretty backwards when it comes to things like this.

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  10. I don't think that I can do it but it will be a great option for couples who could not bear a child.

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  11. I had planned on doing this for my younger sister... she won't be able to carry her own baby - but she has since broken off her engagement, changed jobs and locations, and is enjoying being a single chick in her early 30 's. It isn't likely that I will be able to help her in the future since I am now 44 - but it wasn't even a question in the past :) I was def open to helping her or anyone really...I have 4 children and had extremely easy pregnancies and births - I think helping someone else would have been so rewarding.

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    1. I've read of women doing it as late as their early 50's. However, I'm sure carrying a baby at 44 is MUCH different than after 50!
      I'm glad your sister is enjoying her early 30's!!!

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  12. I have heard about this. I think it's awesome that someone can help another person in such a awesome way.

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  13. I have mixed feelings about surrogacy. I believe that it's a wonderful thing to do, to help those who are unable to have children, but it also seems a bit wrong in the sense that God may not be approving of this idea. Personally, I don't believe I could carry a child and then give it away.

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  14. i think this is the best blessing you could give any family struggling to make their family bigger. I would love to help a family in need like this. the best gift you could EVER give!

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  15. Not everyone has it in them to do this. I think it's great if you want to help out other families by being a surrogate.

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  16. I don't know anyone who has been or used a surrogate but my hat is off to anyone who becomes a surrogate - to me it is akin to donating an organ, and almost then some. Anyone who does it must have a heart of gold.

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  17. Thanks for sharing such hard to discuss topics. I learned a lot.

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  18. I think it is great way for others to have a family but like many others I do not think I could walk away from the baby once it is born. I guess that is the mama in me.

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  19. yeap -this is a great way to start a family --but should always know the person--just sayin!!!

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  20. This is actually a very sensitive topic for many people. I myself have never been a surrogate and never considered it. Thank you for this post.

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  21. Respect. It's a great way for others to have their own family. I would say it takes a lot of courage and love to make it work.

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  22. Lots of things to consider on this topic. It would have to be a special person that would want to be a surrogate mother, I don't think I could carry a child, give birth, then give it up! I applaud someone who can.

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  23. This is such an interesting post! So much to consider and it takes a special woman to be a surrogate! I've gotta give them a lot of credit for the happiness they bring to others!

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  24. I have always thought about being a surrogate. It took me longer than normal to get pregnant with my first but then the next two came right after! I was always just afraid of how my body would react. I had to have surgery with my second because the cyst on my ovary was about ready to burst. Then with number three I was always in pain. My husband was always afraid he would lose me so the thought had been thrown out the window. I am so happy and thankful for those that can! They are amazing!

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  25. I have not ever had to consider surrogacy but I think it is such a selfless thing for someone to be a surrogate--simply amazing!

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  26. I've been thinking more about this. It's a very personal decision. I would opt for adoption. Too many people are hung up on the biological aspect. It sounds like ego to me. As I said, that is just how I feel.

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  27. Personally, I would consider adoption more because there are a lot of unwanted kids out there that deserve to be loved and feel a part of something. But I also do understand and respect people's wishes to want their own blood kin and consider surrogacy if they are unable to conceive. And I am truly in awe as well of the surrogates to be able to go through the whole process. It's not easy but to them it seem like it and they're doing something selfless for others.

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  28. Gosh, to be honest I've not put as much thought into this as you have, what a wonderful article and wonderful heart you have.

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  29. Amazing what these woman do for others! I couldn't even imagine the love and gratitude that a mother who otherwise, could never hold her child, feels the first time she looks at her babies eyes, and then looks at the woman who made that moment happen!

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  30. Although I have never been a surrogate or needed a surrogate parent I can see how valuable a service this is . It is especially important to those who want their own genes/DNA to continue and not just adopt a child. I agree that it is vital to plan and make sure any agency or people involved are reputable.

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  31. I have always wanted to be a surrogate, unfortunately I don't think I fit the bill. We did have fertility issues with conceiving our first child (three miscarriages and lots of drugs required to keep his pregnancy viable). But then we were blessed with a surprise pregnancy after my first born, but both required c-sections. So between my age, my miscarriage history, and c-sections I doubt I'd be anyone's desirable candidate for surrogacy. Regardless, after experiencing hardship, heartbreak, and the joys of pregnancy I would LOVE to give the gift of a child to someone who can't experience it themselves.

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  32. that sounds like a great idea but unfortunately i wouldnt try it because there are pros and cons

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  33. I'd thought about doing that for other couples. Then I thought about the fact of wanting children myself. Then I thought and thought and thought... well, I have five children and my eggs are no longer healthy due to my health. :( It's amazing how things can work out and things keep changing at the same time.

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  34. I'm sure I could never walk away from a baby I give birth to. It takes courage, patience, determination and so much more to do this. I salute them surrogate moms.

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  35. I thought about being I surrogate when I was younger, but I decided that I couldn't take the emotional side of releasing the baby to the "rightful" parents. I fully salute surrogates who can. It must be so emotional for them!

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  36. I had a still born son in 2008 and have since gone on to have a little girl that is almost three. I have met lots of moms who after a stillbirth can no longer have children. I think the surrogate idea is awesome and would make a world of difference in some family's lives.

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  37. Thank you for sharing dear.. I think being a surrogate mother is a awesome blessing to do.. I have thought about it but just a thought.. Haven't known anyone that was or that has had one.. I love being pregnant and my babies.. Just would be very hard to disconnect to be able to hand the child over after birth.. Takes a very strong, secure in herself, and huge heart to do so.. Thank you again for sharing.. God bless :)

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  38. I applaud any woman who can choose to be a surrogate mother. I'm 65 and this was unheard of for most of my life.

    slehan at juno dot com

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  39. Actually I have considered it. I would love to be able to bring such a precious gift to a loving family. Having two beautiful children of my own, as well as seeing a couple in my immediate family not able to conceive, but know they would be great parents, is what made me decide that I would definately consider it.

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  40. I think this is a wonderful thing to do for a loving couple. If science can do this now what will science be able to do in 100 years? All I can say is WOW!!!!

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  41. I don't know if I could be a surrogate, but I had my tubes tied at a very young age and always wondered why they could not transplant my healthy reproductive system into someone else. It's a question that's always bothered me.

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  42. Sure does take a big heart to do something like this!

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  43. No, I have never considered being a surrogate. Although I love my children passionately, I absolutely hated being pregnant.

    Plus, my experience with adoption and mothers who cannot have children have not been good ones.

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  44. Great post. Surrogate moms are awesome, giving people.

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  45. this is a very interesting article.

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  46. I have seen shows on this topic and always found it interesting. Legalities always worry me.

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  47. I've never considered it for myself, but I think it's a wonderful gift to give to another human being. Thanks for sharing!

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  48. A person needs a lot of strength and willpower to carry another person' baby.

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  49. This is so inspiring and leaves me wiht something to think about. I am not at the age where I am ready to be a parent, surrogate or not. But I'm glad to have read this, thanks for sharing!

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  50. thank you for such an informative review. it was well written and explained so much. i am walking away from this review a little smarter and informed.

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  51. It does take a special and unique person to do this. Might consider it myself for family members in the future.

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  52. I wish this would have been a common practice 30 years ago. I have one daughter from my first husband and got remarried and we couldn't conceive. It's so great that it's around now so it can give people the opportunity to become parents.

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  53. I think it takes someone incredibly selfless and brave to get pregnant for someone else.

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  54. its a wonderful and brave idea.!! hats off to women who go for this and make people happy.!

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  55. Any woman that could actually be a surrogate IS TRULY AND ANGEL!! Carrying someone else's child and give birth to this child and give it to it's true parents has a very special place in HEAVEN!! that is the most selfless act ever!

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  56. This is going above and beyond expectational help, awesome!

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  57. I think its wonderful when someone can help another out, and what a better way for someone to help than giving that family a child of there own,, I have thought about this in the past about having a child for someone else but just never went through.. good review :) thanks for sharing @tisonlyme143

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  58. As an adoptee, I couldn't surrogate for someone* because I know how many children out there need homes, but I think it's lovely that other people do. I'm very impressed that you offered for your friend, and I think it's the right thing to do! My sister just had a baby last week via a surrogate because of health reasons.

    *Also I don't know my health history in enough detail because of my adoption to be a good candidate. Which I do understand is a major reason people choose to have others carry their own biological children instead of adopting a stranger who might have serious, surprise health issues, but that's just the case with all children.

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  59. I have always wondered how it would be to become a surrogate for someone, only if I had not had a hysterectomy. I probably would cause I loved giving birth & having a small innocent child in my arms. Such a warm feeling I miss!!!!

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  60. I admire women who choose to do this. 40 years ago there was no such option available.

    slehan at juno dot com

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  61. When I was younger (high school), I didn't think I wanted children of my own and always hoped that I would be able to be a surrogate for individuals and couples unable to add to their family on their own. As I go older, I realized i wanted children of my own and am expecting my first in April. I still often think about surrogacy and whether or not I would be emotionally strong enough to do it. I think it is such a wonderful and selfless gift to give!

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  62. Never. I personally couldn't do it. Labor pain is the worst! Also, there are too many people in the world that need a family. I think if a person has that much love to give unselfishly, adopt.

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  63. No, It may sound selfish but if a person has so much love to give, why does it have to be a biological child? Sadly, there are a lot of children that need loving homes.

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Thanks a bunch for your comment love!